Thinking aloud.

I was thinking, ‘I’ll be fifty someday’, well that’s a scary thought which I want to document. Where will I be? What will I look like? What will I have accomplished by then? So many questions!, but I am like that, I suppose, I question things…because i want to understand, and this a blessing and a curse all wrapped up in one sentence. My questions have gotten me some things and lost me others. See people don’t like questions, they do not like their actions or motives questioned. Yes, so, Fifty years old someday. I will be a  wife to someone,the adjective to be placed before wife will be clearly a matter of opinion,but I like to think i will make a spectacular wife to some lucky chap, a mother to beautiful twins ( Lord, I hope you are listening) and maybe i will finally drive that Audi Q7 that I obsess over, but I figure by then the Germans will have made some other exciting car for me to ogle at. I love cars, and especially German models,its a thing.  Anyhow,yes, I will be fifty someday, if the good Lord wills it. I will be so many things to so many people, but the one thing i know i want to be at that age is happy and content. Yes,happiness is a long term goal for me, right at the top of my achievement list. Because it’s one thing to have all the things that money can buy, and an entirely other thing to be happy enough to enjoy them. I do not necessarily want to live very long, but I want to enjoy every second of my life. I wanna travel and see the world, Big Ben, I will see you some day. I will write a book, not sure about what yet, but I will. I really will not get into my bucket list, cause there is some crazy shit on that list. Haha. I live for the little stuff, in life, like that incredible after rain smell,ice cream on a hot day,a long phone conversation with someone special in the middle of the night about nothing in particular, whiskey on the rocks, getting lost in the thrills of a good book, listening to the rain, forehead kisses, aquariums and singing aloud to my favorite country songs. Happiness is a thing people should strive to achieve, because all you have worked for could all but vanish in 5 seconds, life is incredibly short, like really. Don’t get me wrong – work, chase that paper, be part of the great rat race that life is and collect your millions, just don’t get lost in it. Do enjoy the time you have on God’s good earth, because one thing we know for certain, is that the future is uncertain.

I was just thinking aloud, really.